Lost for You I'm So Lost for You
by iGoToExtremes
Summary: Little side-fic drabble inspired by Hike Up Your Skirt a Little More by monroeslittle.  Technically not Finn-and-Rachel, but totally Finchel.  Rated M for sex talk.


A/N: This is technically not a Finn-and-Rachel story, but I put it here because it provides some backstory to "Hike Up Your Skirt a Little More" by monroeslittle, one of my favorite Finchel writers. If for whatever crazy reason you haven't yet read her story, you totally should. This probably works as a standalone, though.

Thanks to **monroeslittle **for permission to build off of her work, and to **JannP **for her help and other spiritual guidance.

* * *

><p>Rachel stared up at the ceiling above her bed. It was approaching 10 pm, the time at which she usually went to sleep, but she was so lost in thought she didn't even realize how late it was and didn't think to get up and turn off the light.<p>

She didn't even hear her Dad when he came into the room.

"Sweetie? Are you okay?"

"Dad!" She started in surprise, then relaxed. "Yes, I'm fine." _I'm just losing my mind_, she thought to herself.

"All right then," he said before kissing her forehead. "Do you want me to turn off the light?"

"Sure. Thanks." She smiled warmly at him.

"Sleep well, dear." In the faint light from the hallway she saw him blow her a kiss as he retreated and closed the door behind him.

"So?" she heard her Daddy ask from their room down the hall. (What exactly makes parents think that their voices don't carry beyond a 4-foot radius?)

"She's fine. Or at least she appears to be."

"Ah, good. I worry about our little princess these days, with all the changes coming up in her life."

"I know, it seems like just yesterday she won the Little Miss Lima toddler beauty pageant."

With that, Rachel's fear was confirmed.

She couldn't talk to her dads about sex.

It had been nearly two months since she first performed fellatio on Finn, and in that time he had successfully mastered the art of cunnilingus... several times over.

On one hand she felt like they had found a way to make each other feel good and that should be enough. She'd seen what intercourse had done to other people's lives and she wanted no part of teen pregnancy and STDs and relationship drama.

But on the other hand she had never been more in love with Finn and wanted to have sex with him in the worst way. All their making out and wandering hands and now wandering _mouths_ only made her want more, with an intensity that scared her. She wanted them to be connected in that most intimate way which she had yet to share with anyone.

But did that mean it was the right time? How is one supposed to ascertain the circumstances under which she's truly _ready_?

"You know, Finn's father and I were your age when we first started dating seriously." Carole said one day when she was at their house and Finn was in the bathroom. "I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything." She smiled warmly before stepping back into the kitchen to check on dinner.

The very next afternoon, she found herself back on their doorstep since she knew Carole would be home and Finn had another 2 hours of basketball practice ahead of him.

Rachel truly intended for the conversation to be very dignified and simple but before she knew it she was rambling about waiting until 25 and Tonys and Jewish babies and how she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.

Carole was quiet for a moment, her lips settling into a thin line before one corner turned up into a familiar lopsided smile. "Jewish babies, huh?" she teased.

"Yes," she said, looking down at her cup of tea and trying to fight the blush from spreading across her cheeks.

"Well," Carole began, "Finn definitely just wants to make you happy, whatever that means at any given time. That much we both know. So I'm glad to hear - or at least it seems - that he's not pressuring you."

"Not at all. Which is only making me fall further in love with him and more eager to... do that." She couldn't hide her mild exasperation about the latter fact.

"It can be confusing, can't it?" Carole chuckled.

"I'd just like to be sure that I'm ready before it happens."

"This will sound strange, but part of being 'ready' is _not_ being 'sure'. Life doesn't come with a manual telling us when exactly to cross these thresholds. But this particular milestone is about sharing a new experience with someone you love. If you're sure that you love Finn - and he sure as anything loves you, by the way - then you're ready as you'll ever be."

Rachel listened to the entire explanation and found the reasoning to be sound. But she couldn't help looking away awkwardly, stuck on one particular facet and not sure how to broach the subject with her boyfriend's mother of all people.

Luckily she didn't need to.

"I know, I know," the middle-aged woman begins, stirring her tea. "I'm aware that this won't be Finn's first time. But I wouldn't get hung up on that. First of all, too much is made of it, if you ask me. In the course of your adult life, how many times do you think you'll have sex? Hundreds? Thousands? I've never been a math lover so you'll have to help me out there."

Rachel ran through the numbers in her head before talking them out. "Assuming an average of once per week for 40 years, it's 2,080 times," she said confidently.

"Well, there you go! If you're going to do it that many times, why make such a big ordeal about the first time? It's an important event in a girl's life, but nothing to drive yourself batty over. Somehow everyone got the idea that it has to involve rose petals and candles and violins-" She cut herself off, seemingly aware that /she/ was in danger of rambling. "I'm just saying, the act is special enough, there's no need to dress it up and overemphasize anything. You're already ahead of the game in that you've found someone you love to share it with. Aside from that, it needs to just... happen naturally."

"That all makes a lot of sense," Rachel conceded as Carole took a sip from her "Most Awesome Mom" mug that looked to be at least 10 years old.

"Also, without going into the details, I'll just add that there's a certain... _mechanical_ advantage for the boy to have explored that territory before. And, I know I don't _need _to tell you this, but there's an even bigger advantage for no family members or anyone else to be around…"

Rachel nodded, recalling some of her research about sex regarding the first statement, and laughed at the second. "I understand." She was grateful that Carole was being the "cool mom" and talking so openly about this ordeal without delving into extended discussion of the "mechanical" details.

She sighed after the ensuing pause. "I just want it to mean something."

Carole reached across the table and laid a hand on hers. "Let it happen naturally, and it will. Trust me."


End file.
